Balance

For most of my life, I have had a recurring dream. In it, I am somewhere unfamiliar, and something is wrong. The details change, but what happens next never does. I need to run, to escape whatever is closing in, but I can’t. My legs move slowly, like I’m running through water or honey. I try with everything I have, but I’m left with the sensation of falling farther behind. Have you ever had a dream like that?

As a child, I didn’t always feel at home in my body. I remember watching the other kids move through the world with what looked like easy confidence. They seemed to understand intuitively what their bodies were capable of and how to use them, and they inhabited whatever space they were in without apology.